


Closet Capers

by firehawk05



Category: Deadpool - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 10:04:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11644260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firehawk05/pseuds/firehawk05
Summary: Deadpool sneaks into Spiderman's room with a smartphone to do some Blairwitch esque investigative journalism.  Or so he'd like to think.





	Closet Capers

Notes:  
DP: Deadpool  
Y: Yellow text box  
W: White text box  
S: Spiderman  
<>: Sound effects/camera directions/scene descriptions/other things....

DP: Friends. Romans. Spidey fans. We bring you the latest inside "snerk" inside story from your friendly neighborhood Spider's private life!

W: You know he's not gonna like this.

Y: Since when have we let that put us off.

DP: We must press on! Intrepid explorers of the terra incognita that is my roommates room! The adoring public awaits!

W: Er. At least turn the front camera back on. No one wants to see your mask all the time.

DP: Fine. Be that way. Humph.

 

DP: Ah. The door creaks open ominously. We push it open to reveal...A rather neat room. Textbooks are lined up neatly on the shelves, in alphabetical order.

 

DP: The floor is immaculate. The bed pristinely made.

Y: Maybe he sleeps on the ceiling?

DP: We now proceed over to the cupboard. What skeletons will we find in his closet? The door slides open to reveal...

DP: A couple of folded spandex suits, a pair of jeans and a couple of old t shirts.

W: Gah. Boring. Lets bail.

DP: Oh wait. Aproaching Footsteps! Hurry! Into the wardrobe! And slide the door shut.

W: Shut up with the narration already! Do you want him to hear us?

Y: We know he cant seem to see us. No worries. I got this covered. As long as YOU stay quiet. Wouldn't want our readers to miss anything...

DP: Shut up all of you!

Y: The footsteps approach. Then pause. A rustle of fabric and a clinking sound.

W: Curtains?

Y: We cant see. Lets open the door a bit.

DP: Oh.

W: What?

Y: Spiderman is standing in front of the wardrobe stretching. Cat like.

W: Luxuriantly.

Y: Never ever pass up an opportunity to use a completely unnecessary adjective. Fan fiction writers do it all the time.

Y: He sighs and reaches to pull the skin tight top off.

W: Since when did Peter switch to a two piece costume anyway.

Y: Er. It was always a two piece I think. Remember the time he was washing the slime off and stripped to his boxers after...

DP: Shut up shut up! Its just getting good!

Y: We are so filming this.

Y:The muscles of his back ripple smoothly as the top is pulled upwards. Rippling over a lean frame. The spandex slides slowly upwards.

W: Hey. Wait a min. Is there something written there?

Y: Where?

W: There. Just above the small of his back.

DP: Arrgh. Zoom in. Zoom in! Optical zoom to the rescue!

<"If you can read this....">

Y: Oh.

W: Er.

 

W: And that was with both hands over his mouth.... So much for stealth

Y: In a fluid motion, Peter turns towards the cupboard.

The world goes white.

And sticky.

S: WADE WILSON!


End file.
